“You’re pregnant” “I vividly remember the butterflies in my tummy as I walked out of the doctor’s office after hearing these words. I clutched my husband’s hand tight for a soul can handle only some amount of happiness. “ “I am going to be a mother!” “I exclaimed to myself as a tear trickled down my cheek. Never could I have imagined a feeling so grand that God chose me to bring this tiny soul into the world that I would be responsible for
Those 9 months passed with hyped emotions, swollen feet and morning sickness but a constant feeling of elation warmed the cockles of my heart, awaiting my little angel. I read books, listened to pleasant music and sang to my tummy.
And then the day came when I finally held my baby girl in my hands. I had never seen anything so tiny yet beautiful. I wanted to cry, to laugh to celebrate, but above all, to hold my little princess close to me to tell her how much Mumma loved her. Yes, it is true, “ ‘The moment a child is born, the mother is also born’. “
Months of sleepless nights went by; weary days and a battle to keep the house clean when her toys and hand prints were all over the place. There were times when I wanted to give up; or just lock myself and scream out the bottled up emotions. But I knew this wasn’t the answer. I loved her and knew that this phase shall pass. No matter how tiring my day went, it was rewarded by the squeals of her laughter, or holding my finger with her tiny hands. And that’s when all my worries would vanish.
As a few years passed by with us loving and laughing and learning together, a sudden feeling of fear crept in my heart; the fear for her safety. Who comes home, who she plays with, who takes her out, I was always alert, for I couldn’t let the little innocent soul be scarred for life. I made sure I was always present whenever she was with any other adult. Sometimes, I used to lay awake at night fearing how it would be when she enters her teens. I wanted to protect my little baby from the harsh world.
And then, the time came. I was a mother of an adolescent child. I knew it was time to set some rules. I could see her resenting me for being so interfering and controlling but I would rather take her resentment Now than after she grows up, for the rest of her life. I assured myself that it was okay and that she would understand some day. I understood her dilemma, but I couldn’t afford to consciously let my daughter enter a world where there is nothing but disappointment.
My daughter was then growing up. She was in her early 20’s. We had now become friends; well, partners in crime. She helped me with the chores, we watched movies together and she even encouraged me to follow the latest fashion trends. Our bond got stronger by the minute but I had to constantly accept that she would have to begin her new life too, settle down with a doting husband and have kids of her own.
It has been a decade, she is happily married and lives in another country. I miss her everyday and even more when I receive beautiful Mother’s Day flowers every year with a melting message inside.
Today, when I see her, I see a beautiful woman standing in front of me with a toddler boy who has her eyes. I could see the maturity and the stability on her face, like I had when she was in my arms. I am a grandmother now and I can feel oodles of love brimming inside my heart; above all, the pride I take in raising her well.
I found a true companion in my daughter, and I can’t be grateful enough for blessing me with a child. I understand she might not be able to live with me, but then all distance fades away when I cherish our times together. She will always have my blessings and my support till my last breath.