Open Letter To A Girl Who Has No Sibling
To all those girls who are being constantly questioned on being siblingless
Since the very childhood days, many of us are being constantly questioned on being a single child. Though, this question is not limited to the question or its obvious reply, but to the sympathy of the society that comes along with it. And, particularly from those relatives or family friends who either grew up with siblings or stayed with a big, joint family, probably! The funny part is - it tends to get even worse when people end up asking whether it was weird for me or not? And I have not been able to quite gain an appropriate response for the same. There is nothing like being a single child was like something exceptionally different or totally unimaginable.
Though, having a second version of my mother and father or bullying a brother/sister would have to be fun around with and undoubtedly would have been a blessing. To tease, share, annoy and live some moments/memories together would have been nice. Also, on occasions like Raksha Bandhan or siblings day, this feeling made me ponder what if “I am a lonely, secluded girl who didn’t have a sibling”.But, life doesn’t happen always our way, right? No doubt, my cousins left no stone unturned while making me feel special endlessly. I am, was and will be their favourite, which made me realise some relationships needs to be valued than that of the blood ones.
Nevertheless, I had my own set of benefits to look up to which included not sharing the love of my parents and gaining their attention, 24*7*365 days. I had some barbies and my favourite clothing pieces which didn’t require to be shared while playing/ dressing up with/in it. Also, the list of vacations, I took would be more budget-friendly compared to anyone else with a sibling, considering the fact, my family would fit in the standard size of the hotel rooms. So, if you wish to think out of it, then I was hypothetically in a much better place as compared to others.
But as I grew older and wiser, I felt not everything could be shared with our parents, around the clock. And the major PDAs over various social media platforms tend to make it even worse. While I saw my friends sharing the greatest joy of friendship with their sisters & brothers over their Instagram posts, I often ended up wondering what probably I had missed during growing up. It seemed as if their life was triggered with a constant stream of happiness, while my life felt like there is something missing or void. But, I accepted and accordingly adjusted to the fact of being honestly proud of myself and not caring much about my siblingless status. And as per the effect of social media on this topic was concerned, it seemed to waive off pretty soon as soon as I realised people flaunt only the good part of their lives there.
Amidst the feeling of major FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), I used to keep myself surrounded with the love and support of those incredible people who made it easier to deal with it. Although I was always happy in my own little world with space, I ever wanted. But, at times, I would miss someone to hangout or gossip with. The acceptance was unassumingly easy for me, I guess probably because of Indian culture enforcing affinity and a sense of belongingness, even amongst the extended family. And, be it this Raksha Bandhan or many more to come, I would like to honour and bond with my siblings, with whom I didn’t happen to share the womb but they probably did more than I could ever ask for!
And with this letter, I would like to acknowledge their presence in my life! Also, let other girls, who are facing the dilemma know that with siblings or without siblings doesn’t matter, that much till the time you have an incredible family, friends, and relatives, by your side. So, wipe up tears, throw all your disappointments and cheer up with all of those great people who matter. Trust me, the world has not ended yet and you have got a chance to stop sulking by spending some quality time with your cousins.
You, my girl, have not missed out on anything! Over the years, you have become strong, bold and decisive enough to deal alone with the drudgeries of life. So, possibly you have achieved a hell lot in life without dependency as compared to the siblings than you actually wished for. So, cheer up and be proud of yourself, rather than sulking into “what could have been better”. It is a totally different experience and a different kind of upbringing that you have probably gone through, but never try to overlook what you have got and what others haven’t probably to feel and see the difference for yourself! The best part of being siblingless is that you don’t have to live up to your parent’s expectations to match up to your good, older sibling. Ask those with siblings regarding this point and they couldn’t have or cringe about it, more!
Somebody who understands this situation