Let’s be honest about this. We all have found ourselves time and again trying to approach a person whom we saw someplace but never had the slightest clue how to go about it. Just the thought of initiating a conversation feels like being nominated for the “ice-bucket challenge” on a social platform. Your heart begins to beat rapidly, palms begin to sweat and your tongue feels all rolled up inside your stomach. Been there, done that.
Now, I am not going to make it sound more difficult than you assume it to be. Yes, talking to your crush/stranger can be really hard. But again, if you do it right, you can start looking forward to that first date.
Our fear of rejection is our worst enemy. The fact being, if you approach someone, he or she won’t start screaming or run with their hands up in the air. Neither will they make fun of you or turn into a mythical beast unleashed from hell. If this is the case with you, take a chill pill and relax because you’ve got it all wrong. Just like animals can smell fear, one can make out whether the other person is confident or not. Your fear would leave a very sour first impression. Making the first move is one of the ways one can come across as confident.
2. Pep Talk
Back in school, my football coach used to say this one thing all the time, “The best offence is a good defense”. So, practice and try visualizing the actual conversation. It’s better to be prepared than to be all dumbstruck when you ask your crush for their e-mail or their phone number. Try visualizing what she might say or objections she might have. This would help you rev up your game.
3. Don’t enter the “Friend zone”
I can’t lay enough stress on this. Get out of your comfort zone. If you act all shy and innocent, they’ll automatically “Friend Zone” you. Approach your crush with confidence, and never try to conceal the fact that you are approaching him/her for a date.
4. Test Match. Not a T-20
This is the most important part. Most people blow off whatever chance they have by galloping into things. Remember, it’s a test match not a 20-20. Wait for your second innings. Don’t go on asking questions like “Do you have a boyfriend?” From my perspective, don’t even ask them out on a date.
99 out of 100 times people ignore the Golden Rule. The longer you talk to your crush, the chances of you blowing it off increase. Keep the first conversation short. You should focus on making them curious about you and not come across as a sad puppy looking for a new home.
5. Don’t Overdo It
There is a thin line between coming across as flirty or creepy. Don’t go throwing yourself at you crush. You should be able to distinguish between having a crush on someone and being obsessed with them. Avoid leaving an impression that makes the other one feel as if you are clinging onto them. We don’t want them thinking that you are ready to eat away from the palm of their hand.
6. THE JUDGEMENT DAY
So, you followed all of the above. You feel confident and even spent a few extra minutes in the shower. But, what things one must keep in mind while having the actual conversation? Don’t you worry, here’s a list of things that’ll help you to sail smoothly through that first conversation.
- Maintain eye contact. Your eyes are the window to your soul. Look them in the eye when you talk to them and maintain a smile at all times. But remember it is impolite stare.
- Dress up. You don’t have to imitate James bond or Halle Berry for that matter, but you do need to follow some basic principles of grooming yourself. Look like a person who has his/her act together
- Check their body language. Now there’s no particular way to do this but there are certain signs which can tell you whether the person is interested in you or not. If not, Respect their privacy. Otherwise you’ll end up finding a restraining order in your mail.
- Be respectful. This is a must if you plan to approach someone in public or otherwise.
- No matter what the outcome, put yourself in a position where you don’t care whether your crush likes you back or not. This’ll help you deal with rejection which you might have to face.
Now that you know all the golden rules, put that confident face on and Go Get Them Tiger! Hope this Friendship Day turn out to be the most promising one for you!